


I want another first kiss like this

by OnTheTurningAway



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-22
Updated: 2012-03-22
Packaged: 2017-11-02 09:10:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/367350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheTurningAway/pseuds/OnTheTurningAway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A kiss is just a kiss, except when it isn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I want another first kiss like this

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **cinnatart** 's [Kiss Meme 4.0](http://cinnatart.livejournal.com/471762.html). Thanks, as always, to **ArcadianMaggie** for the beta and to **fr333bird** for the Brit-pick and help with silly teenage kissing games ~~because I am far too old to remember such things~~. Title lovingly borrowed from **They Might Be Giants**.
> 
> Underage warning is just a precaution. It's all very innocent, but the majority of the characters are in their early teens.

* * *

"Arthur? Tell me about the kissing thing again?" Merlin asked. He fidgeted with the fringe on a pillow as they sat in the Pendragon living room waiting for Morgana.

Arthur shrugged. "Not much to tell. At some point we'll get bored sitting around listening to music and someone – usually one of the girls – will suggest we play a game. One time it was Truth or Dare but since this is Vivian's party, I bet she'll pick Spin the Bottle. One way or another, it always ends up with kissing."

"In front of everyone? Even if it's with a bloke?" Merlin's hands were clenched in tight fists.

"Yes, Merlin. That's the whole point of the game," Arthur said, remembering how mortified he'd been when Sophia practically attacked him at the last party. Her lips had been sticky-sweet and she'd seemed rather satisfied with the stunned look on Arthur's face after their kiss. He was teased mercilessly until Percy ended up having to kiss Elyan, which had made his face flush for an entirely different reason. "It wouldn't be embarrassing enough if the kissing happened in private."

The last bits of color drained from Merlin's face. Arthur felt slightly guilty about letting Merlin think he was some sort of expert when in truth he'd only been to two kissing parties himself. Still, two was better than none and he was used to paving the way for Merlin, even if he didn't feel as confident as he let on.

"There's nothing to worry about, mate," Arthur said, scooting closer and nudging Merlin with his shoulder. "Once you get into it, you'll forget other people are even there and it won't be that different than usual."

Merlin's knee bounced nervously and Arthur thought he looked like he might be sick.

"Merlin. You have kissed a girl before, haven't you?"

Merlin continued to fidget and didn't answer the question.

"What about Freya?" Arthur prompted.

"No. She moved away before…so, no."

"So you've never kissed anyone?" There was another person Arthur wanted to ask about, someone he thought may have wanted to kiss Merlin, but he wasn't sure how he'd feel about the answer. Deciding he’d rather know one way or the other, he leaned in close and asked, "Not even Will?"

Merlin jumped in his seat, eyes huge and questioning. A rosy flush spread across his cheeks and Arthur felt like he could see a thousand emotions flicker across his face. There was no love lost between Arthur and Merlin's other childhood friend, each of them often competing for Merlin's attention, and Arthur held his breath as he waited for Merlin's answer. Merlin opened his mouth to say something, but in the end just looked down and shook his head.

Arthur was flooded with relief and let out his breath in a rush of air. "Oh," he whispered.

They were so close, pressed right up against each other from shoulder to knee, and Arthur could feel the coolness of Merlin's skin through their tee shirts. Merlin had never been kissed – not even by that prat Will – and they were going to a party where there was almost sure to be kissing. Arthur couldn't stand the thought of it and before he knew it, he ran the soft pad of his thumb over Merlin's lower lip. Merlin went a little cross-eyed as he looked down to watch what was happening and before Arthur could talk himself out of it, he leaned in and kissed Merlin.

At first it was just a dry press of lips, their noses squished together and Merlin not doing much of anything. Arthur pursed his lips against Merlin's again and again, each time worrying about Merlin's lack of response. He was on the verge of pulling away, mind racing to come up with an explanation for his actions, when he felt the tiniest bit of pressure against his mouth. He smiled into the kiss, then took Merlin's bottom lip between his own, kissing and sucking on it gently so as not to scare Merlin away. Even so, Merlin jumped a little when the tip of Arthur's tongue licked at the seam of their lips.

Arthur pulled back, breathless. Merlin looked a little dazed, cheeks flushed, mouth a little puffy and pink. He still looked a little nervous, but more confused and excited than scared.

"Arthur, what–"

"I didn't want your first kiss to happen at the party," Arthur said softly.

"Oh. Right." Nodding in agreement, he leaned toward Arthur again, lips parted, and Arthur could feel Merlin's quick breaths against his cheek.

"Ready, boys?" Morgana called out as she descended the stairs. Startled, Arthur jumped at the sound of her voice and instinctively moved to put some much needed space between them. When Morgana saw Merlin tugging at the corner of his mouth with his teeth, her eyes narrowed.

"You'd better stop biting that lip, Merlin, or you'll have to fight off all the girls at the party." She looked thoughtfully from Merlin to Arthur, then back again. "And maybe some of the boys, too."

"It's just kissing, Morgana," Arthur said. "It doesn't mean anything."

Merlin's face crumpled for just a few seconds before his usual smile was plastered back into place, though Arthur thought it wasn't quite as bright as usual. He hated Morgana for her poor timing, but he knew no matter what happened at the party, he had given Merlin his first kiss and it would be okay.

-o-

Arthur was _not_ okay.

The party started out fine, but then, as Arthur had predicted, Vivian herded everyone to sit in a circle and placed a bottle in the center. She insisted Merlin start things off when he admitted he'd never played before. Merlin spun the bottle and held his breath until it slowed and pointed to Gwen. He blushed furiously but Gwen just gave him a kind, encouraging smile. Arthur was relieved Merlin had landed on Gwen. She was safe; everyone knew she was half in love with Lancelot. Merlin crawled across the circle and ducked his head down just long enough to place a tiny peck on the corner of her mouth, then backed away, whispering, "Thanks." Everyone laughed good-naturedly and Merlin gave both Gwen and Lance an apologetic smile.

A couple of rounds later, after Arthur had distractedly kissed Elena and conveniently gotten up to use the loo during Sophia's turn, Gwaine spun and landed on Merlin. Arthur watched them over the lip of his cup but Gwaine's hair blocked his view as he placed a kiss just under Merlin's ear and whispered something that made Merlin's cheeks flame. Vivian made a show of pouting when Merlin's next spin didn't land on her, instead pointing directly at Morgana. Rubbing her hands together with glee, Morgana said, "This should be good," but at the last minute, she eyed Arthur and just gave Merlin a tiny soft kiss on the lips.

Gwaine, ever the instigator, called out, "How was it, Merlin?" who, to everyone's surprise, quickly quipped, "Erm. It kind of felt like being kissed by my sister."

Next, Morgana kissed Vivian, then Vivian accosted poor Percy, who blushed bright red when his spin landed right between Elyan and Elena. Elyan, ever the gentleman, deferred to Elena, but Percy surprised everyone by pressing a quick kiss to Elyan's lips after giving Elena her due. Elena in turn got Merlin, and Arthur concentrated on the threads of the carpet while the others ooh'd and ahh'd over their kiss.

The last straw was when Morgause jumped up and switched places with Leon after Merlin had already set the bottle spinning. Leon was a friend of Elyan's, someone Arthur knew fairly well from football, but not a usual attendee of their parties. He was a bit older than the rest of the group, had wavy hair that almost reached his shoulders and a bit of scruffy beard on his chin. Arthur had seen him chatting Merlin up earlier in the evening and couldn't hide his grimace when the bottle slowed to a stop with the neck pointing directly at him.

Merlin glanced over at Arthur, looking a bit distraught, but Arthur just squared his shoulders and raised his chin. Instead of waiting for Merlin to come to him, Leon got up and moved to sit next to Merlin, who was looking down and playing with a carpet string. Leon tipped his chin up and gave him a hopeful smile, then cupped his hand around Merlin's face and leaned in for his kiss. It was soft and sweet and Arthur could see Merlin melting into it. He wanted to look away, but couldn’t until Morgana and Morgause clapped their hands together gleefully, startling Merlin and Leon apart. It might have been Arthur's imagination, but he could have sworn he heard one of the girls sigh.

"Oi! Arthur! Looking a little envious, mate," Gwaine said with a laugh.

"Hardly," Arthur replied, never taking his eyes off Merlin.

Merlin shrank away from Leon and pulled his knees up to his chest. He was clearly hurt but even that couldn't stop the bitterness Arthur felt. He pushed himself up from the floor and turned to Vivian.

"Thanks for the party, Viv. I'd love to stay, but I have better things to do than watch Merlin work his way through the rest of you."

"Don't be an arse, Arthur," Morgana said, but Arthur ignored her.

"See you at footie tomorrow, mates," he said, and without another look at Merlin, walked out the door.

Later, after the long walk home, Arthur lay in bed staring at the ceiling, wondering what Merlin was doing, and how everything had got so completely messed up.

-o-

The bedroom door opened slowly and Arthur heard Merlin quietly shuffling around the room trying to locate his things in the dark.

"So you and Leon, huh? Can't say I saw that coming," Arthur said bitterly.

The heavy drapes were drawn but Arthur could still make out the vague outline of Merlin as he whipped around at the sound of Arthur's voice. When he didn't respond, Arthur flipped on the bedside lamp so they could see each other clearly.

"I'm surprised you didn't go over to his flat after the party," Arthur said. He pushed himself up into sitting position, then leaned in Merlin's direction like he was sharing a secret. "I hear Leon lives with his brother now, so you wouldn't have to worry about his mum walking in on you."

"Not that it's any of your business," Merlin snapped, "but Gwaine brought me and Morgana home."

When he realised what he'd said, the fight left Merlin almost as quickly as it came. "I mean…he brought us here, to your home, and now I'm going to mine. Gwaine said he'd drive me."

Merlin's words stung. With the long hours his mother worked, the Pendragon house had been a second home to Merlin for as long as either of them could remember. Arthur clenched his fists and the words were out before he could stop them. "First Leon and now Gwaine? For a guy who hadn't even been kissed before tonight, you certainly move fast, Merlin."

"Oh for fuck's sake, Arthur!" Merlin yelled. "Last I saw, Gwaine was sitting on the kerb with a lapful of Morgana. They've probably still got their tongues down each other's throats, if you care to look."

Arthur knew he was being petty but he jumped out of bed and peeked out the window before squeezing his eyes shut and pulling the drapes closed with a shudder. "I honestly didn't need to see that."

Merlin muttered something under his breath, then shook his head and moved toward the door.

"Merlin, wait," Arthur said. He wasn't certain what to say but he felt terrible. He wanted things to go back to the way they were before, when Merlin had looked completely star-struck and happy to have been kissed, and Arthur had let himself believe it was because of him.

"So, no Gwaine then," Arthur conceded. "But what about Gwen and Elena? And Leon? I don't even want to know what happened after I left."

"I was playing the game, Arthur, just like everyone else at the stupid party. Just like you," Merlin said. "You said it was just kissing and that it didn't mean anything, remember?"

Merlin dropped his gaze and his shoulders sagged in defeat. Arthur couldn't remember the last time he had looked so sad. He just knew Merlin looked all wrong without a silly grin tugging at the corner of his lips or the sparkle of mischief that gave him away when he was up to something. Or the bright, beaming smile he always flashed when he caught Arthur's eye.

As if controlled by a force stronger than himself, Arthur slowly moved closer to Merlin and this time he chose his words carefully. "Merlin, I don't think what I said earlier was exactly true. Sometimes, when it's not just for silly fun, when it's with someone you care about, I think kissing can mean…a lot of things."

_I really like you._  
 _I'm confused._  
 _I was jealous._  
 _Please stay so we can try again?_

Arthur dipped his head and picked at the hem of his tee shirt just to have something to do with his hands. He wanted to kiss Merlin again so badly but he couldn't take the risk, not after he'd acted so poorly.

But it didn't matter, because in the next instant Merlin launched himself at Arthur, forcing them both onto Arthur's bed, and was kissing _him_.

It was wet and messy at first, their teeth clacking together and the sharp points of Merlin's hip dug into Arthur's side, but it didn't matter because Arthur was determined to kiss the taste of the others completely from Merlin's mouth. He wrapped his arms around Merlin's middle and held him close as their kisses became less frantic. Arthur kissed Merlin until they were breathless, then kissed him some more.

When they finally separated, Merlin's eyes were a slightly unfocused, deep dark blue and Arthur couldn't resist running a fingertip over the swollen pink of his mouth. He felt the tiny puff of breath when Merlin foolishly said, "Hi," then shoved him away as they dissolved into a fit of childish laughter.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked when they had caught their breath. "Stay?"

Merlin replied with a shrug and a wide helpless grin, then gathered his pyjamas and went to the loo to get ready for bed. Even though it was odd for boys their age, Merlin, unlike his other friends, often slept with Arthur in his huge bed. It brought a smile to Arthur's face, and if he tugged the pillow on Merlin's side a little bit closer to his own, Merlin didn't seem to notice when he climbed into bed. Or maybe he was too busy lacing their fingers together under the blankets to mention it.


End file.
